Hey… you… let’s get up close and personal.

Not like that you perv! But I like the way you think. 😉

No, I want to take a moment to get a little mushy with all of you. 2015 was a really rough year for me. Seriously, the WORST year I’ve EVER had for depression. There were honestly days I didn’t think I was going to make it. There was a handful of things that kept me from stepping into that perpetual black-hole of no return though.

1. The love of my Grizzly, Minions and family.

2. The support of my friends who were there for me every step of the way, urging me to hold on, take that next step to get help, and giving me lots of love from long distance (you know who you are).

3. My faith in God. Even in my darkest moments I never doubted him, just myself. I’m working on that.

4. YOU. That’s right, YOU. Every single one of you who sent me messages and understood when I said that I had delayed a book (for the millionth time). You sent me loads of love and support. You gave me happy tears to combat the sad ones. You sent me so much love that there were days I swore I could actually feel the hugs and love you were sending me surround me in a cocoon of warm mushiness!

I can’t say thank you enough for all of your love and understanding. You’ll never know exactly how much that meant to me. With my diagnosis, I’m not cured, nor will I ever be. Depression isn’t something that you just “fix”. It’s a life long thing that I have to learn to live with. But I’m getting there, slowly but surely.

That being said, it’s obvious to say I’m still getting back on track writing wise. As of the end of this month, I’ll have not published a book in a year. Which is really scary. I’m nervous about what you all will think of Sweet Agony once I release it. Seriously scared that I’ll have failed to convey their beautiful, but heartbreaking, story into the words that give it justice. So I’ve been procrastinating.

BAD JESSIE!

I know, I know.

But it is almost done. I don’t know if I’ll get it out before Christmas, but definitely in January then. Good birthday present for myself, eh? That being said, I’m asking that you keep being patient (as you wonderfully have been) just a little while longer.

IT’S COMING. I PROMISE.

In the mean time, I just wanted to say thank you for your love and support that got me through this year. Every single one of you mean the world to me.

Until then, I want to share my new personal anthem. I love Halestorm, but this song… it’s just me. In so many ways, while I’m getting back on my feet and re-learning myself all over again. It gives me hope and the courage to take on the world. Not to mention Lzzy Hale is just all kinds of bad-ass. So I hope you love it too.

And for those of you who also suffer from depression –

HOLD ON MY FRIEND. There is a silver lining to that cloud. You are not alone. And your story is definitely not over.

Love Always,

Jessie Lane

8 thoughts on “

  1. Hi, my friend. I know your book will be beautiful. I don’t think a year is really all that long to take to get a book into the world. Many authors take far longer than that. Look at Anne Bishop and Stephen King, and even Dean Koontz. They aren’t churning out a book every couple of months. Stop being so hard on yourself. Everyone creates (and you ARE creating) at his/her own pace. Don’t tire yourself by trying to use a pace set by someone else. And thank you for helping me this year. Your posts have helped me more than you can imagine. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Have a beautiful holiday season and a happy 2016.

  2. I am trying to decide if the on going battle resonates in your work and may be one of the reasons I love your work? I often wonder when I here yet another of my favorite authors have this fight. It seems many of you do. As a survivor of this on going battle myself, I get it. I am also just backing away from the pit. It always looms. But, as you said, knowing we are not alone is huge. It helps me through yet another day. One of my coping mechanisms became books and meeting – although virtually – all of you wonderful authors who have the talent to put things on paper (again maybe virtually.) Thank you for sharing. I look forward to the next book – whenever it may be. I will watch for it.

    • Wonderful insights Pansy Petal! I will say that every book I write has a piece of me (what I was thinking, feeling or something I’ve experienced in my life) in it. And stepping back from the pit is hard, but definitely doable. Thanks for your patience and love! ❤ Jessie

  3. Wow! How brave are you to put yourself out there like you did in this post. I’m so proud to know you! You are awesome!

    I hate that you battle depression, but so happy that you know you’re never alone. I know I’m not next door, but I’m always text, message or phone call available. Put me in coach!

    You are loved and appreciated so much! I can’t imagine a world that I hadn’t had the good fortune to know you. I look back at our Cleveland pictures all of the time and smile so hard. You do that! You make me smile.

    Hugs Chica!

  4. ((HUGS)) I always try to remind myself of my anthem – “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again.” (too bad my singing voice is a bit pitchy to carry that off out loud!)

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